Friday, July 23, 2010

Domestic Flight Checkin Timings - revised in India

What is maximum time limit for Check-in at Indian Domestic Temninals

As per the latest Government Guidelines, check-in counters at domestic terminals across India will now close 45 minutes before flight departure.

We request you to kindly make a note of this Government Guideline and plan your commute to the airport accordingly.

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Jokes from Email

 

 

Dad to Tintu mon:

When I beat you how did you control your anger?
Tintumon: I start cleaning the toilet.
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Tintumon: I clean it with your tooth brush.

TintuMon 2 God: Plz give me 1 bag full of money, a job and 1 big vehicle
full of girls.
God: Bless u!
Today Tintu Mon is the bus conductor of a Girls College .


Dad: Do u know how 2 swim?
Tintumon: No.
Dad: A dog is better than u! It can swim.
Tintumon: So do u know how 2 swim?
Dad: For sure!
Tintumon: Then, what's the difference between u and a dog?


Tintumon called FM radio & said
"I've found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of
Mr.Mani, No.13,Halls rd,kannur….
Radio jocky : How honest ….so you want to return his purse…?
Tintumon : no……. i just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him…  

Father and tintumon were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo.
The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and
tintumon was taking it all in with a serious expression.
"Dad," tinumon said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you
up …"
"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.
"What bus should I take home?" tinumon finished.


Tintumon was asked to write a sign board for the traffic near the school.
He wrote"Drive carefully! Don't kill the students, wait for the teachers"

prof:chemical symbol of Barium?
Tintumon:BA
prof:For sodium?
Tintumon:NA
prof:wat will we get if 1 atom of BA & 2 atom of NA combines?
tintumon:"BANANA"  


·         PASSIVE VOICE
teacher: Write the passive voice of " I made a mistake"
tintumon: " I was made by a mistake"



Tintumon went to his Dad's Friend's home late night.
Uncle offered him to Sleep in Baby's room.
Tintumonrefused because the Baby might Cry at Night and went to sleep in the drawing hall.
Next morning he saw a Beautiful young Girl at the breakfast table,
Tintumon: Who are you?
The girl replied,"I am Baby and You??"
Tintumon: I am a Stupid!!!




PROFESSOR  
A professor to tintumon: "what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?"
tintumon: "JIMBALAKDI BAMBA"
professor: "i dont understand anything"
tintumon: "same 2 you"



PTA Meeting  
Tintumon: Dad, there is a small PTA meeting at school tomorrow…..
Dad: Wat do u mean by a small PTA meeting ?
Tintumon: its… just u, me & the Principal !




Techy Tintumon  

Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking..
Tintumon:Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!  

 

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Thursday, July 08, 2010

An IT professional's Appointment with Vet

 Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor in India and said:

Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself
treated fully within this period.

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic,
see that board.

Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only

Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal
specialist. I do not treat human beings.

Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only...

Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk
like me which means you are a human being and not an animal.

Man: I know I am a human but litsen to my complaints first:

Doctor: OK. Tell me.

Man:

I sleep like a dog thinking about my work load whole night.

I get up in the morning like a horse

I go to work running like a deer

I work all the day like a donkey

I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.

I wag my tail in front of all my bosses

I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.

I am like a rabbit before my wife

Doctor: are you an engineer?

Man: Yes

Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me
in the begining itself that you are are an engineer. Come man, no one can treat you better than me.

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An Appeal to Stop Arab Sex Tourism

There is a big network which operates in Hyderabad for 'selling' the poor Muslim girls to Arab Sheiks in the name of Nikkah



The entire process is well organized in Hyderabad and it is well entrenched in society. The needs and helplessness of the poor parents are known to the locals and middle men who make contact with parents and exploit them. The Sheikhs who arrive in the city stay in local hotels and hunt for girls and soon are contacted by the middle men and a deal is struck. Most of the time a paltry sum is paid to the parents and Nikkah is arranged. The Kazi (The Muslim priest) conducts the marriage and documents are prepared. Many times the girl’s age is altered as some of them are minors and fake documents showing legal/acceptable age are prepared. Thus they try to escape when given Police complaint.

Parents are happy that the girl is married off to a wealthy sheikh but tragedy awaits them soon. The old Sheikh fit to be a father or grand father to the girl consummates the marriage in some hotel and satisfies his lust. It is also not known how many of these old crooks from Arab lands suffer from HIV and other venereal ailments. In the darkness of night they probably pass on the ailments to the unsuspecting brides. There are instances when girls below 13 years are married off to Sheikhs as old as 70 years. However on documents age is shown correct as per provisions. Tragedy unveils on the families when they find that the Sheikh has disappeared all of a sudden leaving the girl to winds. In a recent case that came to light, an impoverished Muslim family married off their daughter to an Arab Sheikh for a meager amount of Rs. 5000 ( US $100), offered through a broker.

 Sadly seven out of eight MLAs from the old city are from Majlis-e Ittihad al-Muslimin (MIM)
The MP, Asaduddin_Owaisii is the most educated among the community and a darling of media. None of these people's representatives have taken any step in stopping this crime. Sheiks fly in and fly-out of the country ruining young Indian women

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Octopus PeaL (aka PL) earns I.T Professionals Wrath

Octopus PeaL (aka PL) has earned thr wrath of  I.T Professionals by selecting the Offshore Box, which shuts the doors for professionals travelling to onsite.


Needless to say the Octopus has been given enough security at Office

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