Lawyers and Grandma Jokes

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they
aren't  prepared for the answer!

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.    He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a  big disappointment to me.. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate  people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a  big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will  amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher. Yes, I know  you.."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney (the opponent's lawyer)?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a  drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone  and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to  mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of  them was your wife. ..Yes I know him." 

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet  voice said: "If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me,  I'll send you to jail for contempt of court !!!