The Art of Appraisal

Big Boss: This year your performance was good, excellent and outstanding. So, your rating is "average". Kumar: What? How come 'average'? Big Boss: Because...err...uhh...you lack domain knowledge. Kumar: But last year you said I am a domain expert and you put me in this project as a domain consultant. Big Boss: Oh is it? Well, in that case, I think your domain knowledge has eroded this year. Kumar: What??? Big Boss: Yes, I didn't see you sharing knowledge on Purchasing domain. Kumar: Why would I? Because I am not in Purchasing, I am in Manufacturing. Big Boss: This is what I don't like about you. You give excuse for everything. Kumar: Huh? *Confused* Big Boss: Next, you need to improve your communication skills. Kumar: Like what? I am the one who trained the team on "Business Communication", you sat in the audience and took notes, you remember? Big Boss: Oh is it? Errr...well..I mean, you need to improve your Social Pragmatic Affirmative Communication. Kumar: Huh? What the hell is that? *Confused* Big Boss: See! That's why you need to learn about it. Kumar: *head spinning* Big Boss: Next, you need to sharpen your recruiting skills. All the guys you recruited left within 2 months. Kumar: Well, not my mistake. You told them you will sit beside them and review their code, and most resigned the next day itself. Couple of them even attempted suicide. Big Boss:*stunned* (recovers from shock) Err...anyway, I tried to give you a better rating, but our Normalization process gave you only 'average'. Kumar: Last year that process gave me 'excellent'. This year just 'average'? Why is this process pushing me up and down every year? Big Boss: That's a complicated process. You don't want to hear. Kumar: I'll try to understand. Go ahead. Big Boss: Well, we gather in a large room, write down the names of sub-ordinates in bits of paper, and throw them up in the air. Whichever lands on the floor gets 'average', whichever lands on table gets 'good', whichever we manage to catch gets 'excellent' and whichever gets stuck to ceiling gets 'outstanding'. Kumar: (eyes popping out) What? Ridiculous! So who gets 'poor' rating? Big Boss: Those are the ones we forget to write down. Kumar: What the hell! And how can paper bits stick to ceiling for 'outstanding'? Big Boss: Oh no, now you have started questioning our 20 year old organizational process! Kumar: *faints*

 

Sardar Jokes

Sardar : My mobile bill how much?
Call Centre Girl : Sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar : Stupid, not CURRENT BILL MY MOBILE BILL.

************************************************************

Friend : I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar : Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

************************************************************

Teacher : Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar : ZEBRA
Teacher : How?
Sardar : Bcoz it is Black & White

***********************************************************

Judge : Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court..
Sardar to judge : U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

***********************************************************

Question : "Should Women have Children after 35?"
Smart Sardar Replied : "No!
35 Children R More than Enough!!"

***********************************************************

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager : Do U know MS Office?
Sardar : If U give me the address I will go there sir.

**********************************************************

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied: "I Mr YOU" !!.

**********************************************************

After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice. He Checked 1st Patient's
Eyes, Tongue & Ears By Torch & Finallly Said:
"Torch is okay"

**********************************************************

Sardar1: Oye, what will happen if electricity is not discovered?
Sardar2: Nothing, we must watch TV in candle light.

**********************************************************

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .... While its landing he shouted: " Bombay
... Bombay "
Air hostess said : "B silent."
Sardar : "Ok.. Ombay. Ombay"

**********************************************************

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...!!!

***********************************************************

Sir : What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar : Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

************************************************************

Indian BPOs losing out to Latin American ones

India, once the preferred location for foreign companies to set up business process outsourcing centres (BPOs), is literally losing its voice. Experts point to the shortage of quality workforce in the voice-based BPO industry, which has driven many IT companies, including TCS and Wipro, overseas. Companies are attracted to the ready availability of superior voice talent in Latin American countries like Brazil, Mexico, Argentina and Peru, making them new BPO hotspots. IBM, TCS, Accenture and Unisys have already set up centres in the region.

Recently, Wipro Technologies opened its new global delivery centre at Curitiba in Brazil to serve global and domestic clients. The Curitiba centre will extend Wipro’s IT and BPO portfolio, serving about 20 clients.

Indian IT Companies Salary Hike 2010 / TCS Salary Hike 2010

TCS Salary Hike 2010

The following calculator provides the result of Salary hike (in local currency) for FY 2010-11. Please save the excel as workbook and use it.

(This website doesnot collect any personal information - unless you brag in comments)

http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0AmJt4ChoNSkGdEUtT1JHc0VuVnZmM0pjejB4Znh2U3c&hl=en





Infosys Salary Hike 2010, Wipro Salary Hike 2010, Accenture Salary Hike 2010, Patni Salary Hike 2010,


IBM Salary Hike 2010

CapGemini Salary Hike 2010

Microsoft Salary Hike 2010

Google Salary Hike 2010

Satyam Salary Hike 2010

HCL Salary Hike 2010

TCS Onsite Salary Hike 2010

Infosys Onsite Salary Hike 2010

Infosys Pay Hike 2010, Wipro Pay Hike 2010, Accenture Pay Hike 2010, Patni Pay Hike 2010,


IBM Pay Hike 2010

CapGemini Pay Hike 2010

Microsoft Pay Hike 2010

Google Pay Hike 2010

Satyam Pay Hike 2010

HCL Pay Hike 2010

TCS Onsite Pay Hike 2010

Infosys Onsite Pay Hike 2010

Why are there more suicides in Infosys

Stress taking its toll in IT Industry

More and more suicides are reported from Narayan Murthy founded Infosys - The IT Bellwether of India

Most of the times the blame is on stress. Can a company with around 100,000 employees handle stress in a different way.

When I spoke on this issue with some in IT Community, they told that it was not Infy that kills people, it is their immediate superioirs who keep the pressure on sub-ords. The sub-ords mostly young are unable to handle the pressure and simply take the extreme step.

Though the above argument has some meat, still the superiors are Infosys (or generally any other company's) employees and they have to be trained to handle the stress and not to pass on.

Don't forget that there were more cases of sucides by Program managers and Project Managers ... Whom to blame?

BALLAYYA RESUME

BALLAYYA RESUME

Name: Balakrishna (alias Balayya)

AIM : To make the audience run away from theaters

Experience: 30 years industry

Junior Artist - 1974 (with 1 hit, 9 flops)

side role- 1979(14 flops)

Lead role- 1986- till date( 4 hits, 44 flops)

Skills: moving trains (Palnati brahmanaidu), climbing Mt. Everest

(Vijayendra varma), shooting a bullet from mouth (Allari pidugu),

playing with current (Okka magadu), etc.

Expectations: min. 5 crores for each film

Achievements: world records in flops

Role Model: Captain Vijayakanth,the Telugu Tiger of Tamil Nadu.

Project Details--
1. Bike riding on ground and in air
2. Climbing any mountain with hands
3. Pulling chair front and sending train back with hand signals

Leadership skills--

Led 12564 hens and cocks to attack the enemies and won the battle.

Special Attraction--

1.hitting thigh (Thoda Kottadam)

2.having laser eye (Kanti Chuputho champaysatha)

3.senseless talking in functions, interviews

Conclusion:

Balayya went to a library and asked for a book "Psycho The Rapist".

The Librarian searched for hours and came back ...slapped Balayya and said,

"Idiot, the book is called Psychotherapist ".

IBM Layoffs - 1,000 US Employees

IBM cut more than a thousand workers Monday in its first round of mass layoffs this year, according to an organization tracking the company's actions.

Workers were all abuzz on Alliance@IBM's Web site on Monday morning as they reported about "resource actions" taken by managers at various IBM locations around the country.

By late afternoon, Alliance@IBM, an organization that seeks to organize IBM workers, confirmed through resource action packages -- human resource documents identifying job cuts -- that the company laid off at least 1,052 workers, or about 1 percent of IBM's 105,000-person U.S. work force. IBM workers forwarded the information to Alliance@IBM.

The company's U.S. headquarters at Durham'sResearch Triangle Park was affected in at least three departments, according to workers posting on Alliance.


Last March, IBM also reportedly planned to lay off 5,000 U.S. workers after having cut 4,000 software and sales workers in January 2009.

Hyundai recalls many cars due to lock faults

Hyundai recalls new Sonata due to lock faults

The South Korean automaker announced the voluntary recall after earlier saying it would suspend U.S. sales of its 2011 Sonata, a move analysts said was in contrast to Toyota's sluggish response to concerns about sudden unintended acceleration.

"Recalls have become a highly sensitive issue since Toyota's recall," said Yim Eun-young, an analyst at Dongbu Securities.

"Hyundai seems to have decided to deal with these issues as fast as they can."

Hyundai, which was the only major automaker to increase sales in the battered U.S. market last year, has targeted Toyota customers rattled by the acceleration problems linked to dozens of crashes and the recall of more than 8.5 million vehicles.

Shares in Hyundai Motor fell as much as 4.3 percent in early Wednesday trading and ended down 2.6 percent versus a 1 percent drop in the wider market. The stock had risen 13 percent since Toyota's recall woes spiraled in January.

Stephen Ahn, auto analyst at LIG Investment & Securities in Seoul, said the recall would undermine Hyundai's image at a time when customers were sensitive to quality following Toyota's mass recall.

"But given that the flawed part is a not a key function such as the accelerator, powertrain or electronic controls, it will have little impact on Hyundai's sales," he said.

The Sonata and Elantra are the two top selling models for Hyundai, the world's No.4 carmaker with affiliate Kia Motors Corp.

"We have upgraded quality problems to a safety problem and decided to make a voluntary recall," the company said in an emailed statement in Korean.

NO RIPPLE EFFECT

The recall will affect about 1,300 of the 2011 Sonata sedans built through February 16 at Hyundai's plant in Alabama and sold to customers, plus 46,000 YF Sonata units produced through December 6 in South Korea. The new model started to be sold from September 2009 in South Korea and this month in the United States.

Hyundai notified dealers late on Monday of potential faults in the front-door latches of the new model that could affect 5,000 vehicles, and the stop-sale order was put into effect at U.S. dealers on Tuesday, a spokesman said.

It will notify South Korea's transport ministry and the U.S. National Highway Traffic Safety Administration this week of the decision to recall the cars in March.

The company said it received complaints from customers but no reports of accidents or injuries related to the model.

The South Korean automaker is targeting 4.5 percent market share in the United States this year, helped by popular new product launches and aggressive marketing.

Hyundai plans to launch the new Accent and a revamped Elantra this year, which competes against the Corolla and Honda's Civic.

With the new models, Hyundai aims to increase global sales in 2010 by 11 percent to 3.46 million vehicles.

Hyundai's U.S. sales rose 8.3 percent to 435,064 units in 2009, while industrywide U.S. sales fell 21 percent. Its U.S. market share increased to 4.2 percent from 3 percent in 2008

Satyam Layoffs - Satyam Virtual Pool

At last the ghost is out ... some 10,000 employees are on thier way out as Satyam moves them to a 'Virtual Pool' whereby its non-billable staff would get a fraction of their salary for up to six months has been called an "innovative, unique and humane" program by its top brass but it has triggered concerns among its associates that with a reduced pay packet, they would not be able to honor their personal commitments like housing loan, car loan, credit card payments, insurance, health policies and education loans.

Super PMs Sonia and Rahul Gandhi, CM YSR and PM Manmohan Singh fooled some 50,000 families of Satyam that they would provide job at any cost.

CTS Employees get Bonus

Cognizant has paid good incentives for the year 2008 in keeping with our philosophy of sharing the results of good company performance with our associates. As compensation is confidential information, we cannot reveal any further details.

Cognizant reported a 32% rise in revenue for the fiscal year ended 31, December 2008 and ended the period with over $900 million in cash. Most Indian tech companies follow the April-March fiscal calendar.

Cognizant has decided to give bonuses to its employees despite the global economic downturn. The company has also announced to pay the variable component in its employees' salaries.

SAP Job Layoffs

SAP was supposed to be a hot cake for software professionals. Many left hard-core engineering jobs to join IT companies as SAP consultants. Now there are more layoffs in SAP. HCL fired around 20 consultants from its bangalore branch. Other companies like IBM, Wipro are also in the layoff mode 

SumTotal Systems, Hyderabad fires round 20 employees

SumTotal Systems, also took resignation letters from around 20 employees in Hyderabad branch this week after giving five minutes notice.

"As per rules, we should get two months notice," said a techie who lost his job. "But, the HR people are forcing us either to resign or face termination. If our services are terminated, we won't get experience certificate and relieving letter, which will affect our career. So we are resigning."   

20 SAP techies of HCL Bengaluru made to resign in 5 minutes

20 techies working in the SAP division of the Bengaluru branch of HCL technologies were made to put in papers with five minutes notice. Majority of them were from Andhra. HCL did not even bother to go through performance tests. It is directly asking the employees to resign.

"As per rules, we should get two months notice," said a techie who lost his job. "But, the HR people are forcing us either to resign or face termination. If our services are terminated, we won't get experience certificate and relieving letter, which will affect our career. So we are resigning."

However, Murali Raghavan, global head of SAP practice in HCL, refused to comment on these developments, as he was not "authorised" to speak. At the same time, Ms Meena Vaidyanathan, head of external communications at HCL Technologies, said employees were not being sacked.

Cap Gemini Layoffs 2,000 in India with tailored resignation letter

Cap Gemini is laying off employees in its Indian offices. The company has reduced 90-day notice period to 30 days without the consent of employees. This results in huge savings for the firm - Cap Gemini will now have to pay outgoing staffers a month's salary instead of three months.

The employees were asked to sign on a tailored resignation letter. We couldn't get the copy of the letter to be published

Thala Thala Daan - Rajini's Reach

Rajnikant was bragging to Amitabh Bachan one day, "You know, I know
everyone Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.

Tired of his boasting, Amitabh Bachan called his bluff, "OK, Rajini how
about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it" Rajini said.

So Rajini and Amitabh Bachan fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom
Cruise's
door,

and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts :--- "Thalaiva! Great to see you! You
and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

...Although impressed, Amitabh Bachan is still skeptical.After they leave
Cruise's house, he tells Rajini that he thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was
just lucky.



"No, no, just name anyone else" Rajini says


.."President Obama", Amitabh Bachan quickly retorts

..."Yes", Rajini says, "I know him .


And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Rajini on the tour and
motions him, saying, :----"Rajini, what a surprise, I was just on my way
to
a
meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of
coffee
first and catch up".


Well, Amitabh Bachan is much shaken by now, but still not totally
convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he implores her to
name anyone else.


"The Pope," Amitabh Bachan replies

..."Sure!" says Rajini, "My folks are from Italy and I've known the Pope
a
long time".


Rajini and Amitabh Bachan are assembled with the masses in Vatican
Square
when Rajini says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye
among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me
just
go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican .. Sure
enough,
half an hour later Rajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Amitabh Bachan has had a
heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to Amitabh
Bachan's side, Rajini asks him, "What happened?"



Amitabh Bachan looks up and says, "I was doing fine until u and the pope
came
out on the balcony and the man next to me said,


*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

"Who's that on the balcony with Rajini?"

50 feared dead in US Plane Crash, Buffalo Plane Crash

Plane crashes into suburban Buffalo-area, United States

A Continental Airlines plane crashed into a home near Buffalo, New York, late Thursday, killing 44 passengers and four crew members on board, according to New York State police.


A huge fire burns from the wreckage of Continental Airlines Flight 3407 near Buffalo, New York.


Continental Connection Flight 3407, operated by Colgan Air, was en route from Newark, New Jersey, when it went down, said Bill Peat with New York State Emergency Management in Albany. The crash occurred about seven miles from Buffalo Niagara International Airport.

The first sign of trouble was when Flight 3407 went off the radar.


Clarence emergency control director Dave Bissonet says the crash also killed one person on the ground.

The airplane, a Bombardier Dash 8 Q400, apparently was set to land on a specified runway at the airport under weather conditions that include light snow. Video from local television reports showed fire fighters battling blazes at a crash site. The flight was bound to Buffalo from Newark's Liberty International Airport.

The National Transportation Safety Board is preparing a team of investigators to leave from the Washington region at 6 a.m.

Colgan Air, is a subsidiary of Pinnacle Airlines. Colgan operates planes under the Continental Connection, United Express and US Airways Express names. It has operations in Boston, Houston, New York, Pittsburgh and Washington, D.C.

Co-education banned in Uttar Pradesh

Uttar Pradesh Board of Madrassa Education (UPBME) has banned co-education in madrassas across Uttar Pradesh, stating it is against the 'spirit of Islam'.

"In Islam, parda (veil) is very important. By allowing co-education we promote 'be-pardgi' (women without veil), which is against Shariyat. "This is why we have directed all the madrassas to do away with the co-education system from this academic session. And we will ensure that this directive is followed in letter and spirit," UPBME Chairman Haji Rizawan Haq had said.

Who creates recession?

What is recession?

This Story is about a man who once upon a time was selling "Wada-Pav" by the roadside.

He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers.

He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio.

His eyes were weak, so he never watched television.

But enthusiastically, he sold lots of "Wada-pavs".

He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales.

His sales and profit went up..

He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sale more.

He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers.

He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove.

As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his father.

Then something strange happened.

The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?"

The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible.

The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times."

The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watched TV.

He ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly.

So the next day onwards, the father cut down his raw material order and buns, took down the colourful signboard,

removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic.

He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs.

Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his "Wada-Pav" stand.

And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit.

The father said to his son, "Son, you were right".

"We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."

Moral of The Story: It's all in your MIND! And we actually FUEL this recession much more than we think we do!!!!!!!!!! !!

What can we take away from this story??

1. How many times we confuse intelligence with good judgment?

2. Choose your advisors carefully but use your own judgment

3. A person or an organization will survive forever, if they have the 5 Cs

* Character

* Commitment

* Conviction

* Courtesy

* Courage

The tragedy today is that there are many walking encyclopedias that are living failures.

The More practical and appropriate views on this economic recession is:

"This is the time to reunite together for any small or a big organization,

this is the time to motivate and retain people which are the biggest asset,

this is the time to show more commitments to the customers,

this is the time show values of our company to the world,

and this is the time to stand by our Nation".

ForwardSourceID:NT00020756

Twenty Great One Liners

Twenty Great One Liners (courtesy - Arun Panyam Dutt)


1. Regular naps prevent old age... Especially if you take them while
driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a
referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they
wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've
purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
cannot live without... But whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get
tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees
with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he
still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom
gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done
it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk
because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address.

Boss's Donkeys - A Moral Story for today's executives

Once upon a time a Washerman was bringing up two donkeys. Let us say Donkey-A and Donkey-B. Donkey-A felt it was very energetic and could do better than the other. It always tried to pull the washerman's attraction over it by taking more load and walking fast in front of him.

Innocent Donkey-B is normal, so it will walk normal, irrespective of the washerman's presence. After a period of time, Washerman started pressurising Donkey-B to be like Donkey-A. But Donkey-B unable to walk fast, got continuous punishment from washerman. It was crying and told personally to Donkey-A "Dear friend, only we two are here, why to compete with each other....we can carry equal load at normal speed ".

That made Donkey-A all the more energetic and next day it told to washerman that it can carry more load and even it can run fast also. Obviously happier washerman looked at Donkey-B.., his BP raised and he started kicking Donkey-B. Next day with smile, Donkey-A carried more load and started running fast. But it was breathtaking for Donkey-B and it couldn't act that way....But the washerman was frustrated, so he harassed Donkey-B terribly, and finally it fell down hopelessly. Then Donkey-A felt itself as a supremo and happily started carrying more load with great speed. But now the Load of the
Donkey-B is also being carried by Donkey-A., and still it has to run fast. For some period it did, finally due to fatigue it got
tired and started feeling the pain. But washerman expected more from Donkey-A. It also tried best, but couldn't cope up with his owners demand. The Washerman got angry with Donkey-A also and started harassing to take more load... Donkey-A was crying for long time and then tried its best... But it couldn't meet the owner's satisfaction.

Finally the day came when due to frustration the washerman killed Donkey-A and went for searching some other Donkeys.

Its an endless story....... ...
But the moral of the Story in Corporate life is......,

"Think all colleagues are same and that everyone is capable.... Always Share the Load equally..... Don't ever act smart in front of your Boss and never try for getting over-credit. .. Don't feel happy when ur colleague is under pressure.. "

It doesn't matter if u r A or B, for the Boss u shall be always DONKEY And most importantly, Never Work Hard, Work cleverly....."Success is a journey not a destination"

Regards,

Radhika.